One Year

It was one year ago today that I found myself in the emergency room being admitted to the hospital. I don't know why it is this anniversary that seems so significant to me, after all, I have a few of them. October 10 was the day I was diagnosed with cancer. August 4 was the first day I coughed, this cough being what finally landed me in the emergency room. September 2 is when I finally consented to go see a doctor about this silly cough that didn't want to go away. But it is September 29 that seems the most significant to me.

Maybe it is because it was the first time I had ever been sick enough to have to go to the emergency room. I went my entire life never having anything more than a common cold. (Okay, I admit it, I did get the chicken pox and I did have to have my tonsils removed, but I see those things more as rights of passage for a kid growing up in my generation than actual illnesses.) I felt absolutely ridiculous going to the emergency room. The one thing I was prepared to say in my defense when the emergency room staff proceeded to tell me I had no business being there (because that is what I was sure they were going to say), was that I didn't go on my own accord, my doctor told me I had to go. At least I could blame it all on her. I never imagined that I would find myself in the ICU for the next week or so.

I feel as though September 29 is when this whole crazy past year really got started. And it has been a crazy year because on one hand I received some of the worst news of my life. For the past year I have never felt confident planning more than a couple of months ahead because I didn't know if I would be around to fulfill those plans; but on the other hand, it has been one of the best years of my life. If I were to list out in two columns the good vs. the bad of the past year, the good column would be so much longer than the bad, there really is no comparison.

It wasn't always fun sitting in a chair receiving chemo for 4-5 hours. Sometimes it was really miserable. But for about 6 months I had an all day date with my husband once a week. We got to spend so much time together! And I loved how he always wanted to be there with me and took such good care of me. Once summer came he could no longer go with me on Thursdays so I had to rely on my friends to go with me, and they have! I have never gone by myself. For one whole year now I have been getting chemo treatments every two weeks and not once have I been by myself. This has been a year full of friends pouring out their love to me.

Not everyone is able to go to chemo treatments with me and fortunately, now that I am on a different treatment plan it doesn't last as long, either. But friends and family have shared their love in so many other ways. Visits to my house, thoughtful gifts, taking care of my children, homeschooling my children, cleaning my house, coming to my house at night and rubbing my feet so I could sleep when it was the only way I could get to sleep because of the coughing, holding fundraisers to help us with the medical bills, making donations...I feel as though I could go on forever and still not list every kind, wonderful thing people have done for us.

Then there is all the fun I have had over the past year. When you try to cram in everything you have been wanting to do, it keeps you really busy. And of course, most of those fun things wouldn't be as fun, or even possible, if there weren't friends or family there to enjoy it with you. We have been able to do so many fun things this past year. I have even added several "firsts", such as, riding in a helicopter, riding in a hot air balloon, going to Legoland, taking the kids on their first airplane trip, hiking the Narrows in Zion Canyon, going to places in NC that I hadn't been to before...again, it is almost hard to recall all of the adventures I have been able to experience over this past year.

Despite the overarching fact that I do have cancer, I have enjoyed wonderful health. The fact that I have been able to do all of the things I have this past year I consider a precious blessing. I am so grateful I have been able to spend the this year enjoying my friends and family and doing things that I love (most of which involve expending quite a bit of energy and being somewhere outdoors). I have spent the year being active and feeling wonderful rather than being sick and stuck at home in bed.

I am grateful for every day I have had and for every day I have to come. I don't know what the future holds for me, but then, none of us do. I was told that one year is the average time a person lives with my particular cancer carrying the BRAF mutation. (I am going to assume that is one year from diagnosis. I really have no idea how long I have actually had the cancer!) So I have at least made it to average. Of course, doing things "average" has never really been my style so I am not planning on this life adventure ending any time soon.

I guess I just wanted to mark this little one year anniversary by saying thank you, thank you for making this past year so wonderful, exciting and filled with so much love.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

I feel a little bit like the Little Engine. I just keep chugging along, not stopping, not going anywhere too quickly, a slow steady movement onward. I had another CT scan this past week and visited with my doctor. She is very encouraged. The scan showed no changes with my lungs. There are two main areas on my liver that they are watching. One of them seems to have gotten ever so slightly bigger but the other one seems to have gotten ever so slightly smaller so they are considering it stable and I get to continue with the study. The good news really comes from my tumor marker numbers. My CEA after my last scan when I almost didn't get to continue with the study was 14.2. Last Thursday it was 10. There is another tumor marker called CA19-9. My doctor was following that one until I got on this study and since the study doesn't call for that number my doctor stopped requesting it. After my CEA number saved me from getting removed from the study, she decided she wanted to continue following this second marker. Before I started on my current treatment, this number was 5520. Now, after three months of treatment it was down to 2810. My doctor feels confident that the treatment is providing me some benefit.

I have still been trying to live life to the fullest and do all I can to enjoy it. Over Labor Day weekend I went with friends on a camping trip to Stone Mountain and Pilot Mountain.

 Pilot Mountain

For those of you who may be fans of the Andy Griffith Show, Pilot Mountain is where they got the name Mount Pilot and it is located near the town of Mount Airy or "Mayberry." 

 Stone Mountain

Hiking around the state park of Stone Mountain you will find yourself at this position, where you can see the face of the giant stone feature, and also on top where you can look out all over the mountains of the area. It is really quite beautiful. The little pathway you see in the middle leading toward the rock is where you would go if you wanted to scale the face of the rock. We just took the nice little walk that takes you around back and up to the top. I believe there were actually people scaling the face when I took this picture but they are so small you can't see them.

A pretty little waterfall on the way to the big waterfall that I didn't think was as pretty and far too crowded with people.

This past weekend I took a little get away with some girl friends to the Biltmore Estate. This is the largest house in America, built in 1895 by George Vanderbilt in Asheville, NC.

 We toured the house and also the grounds which have impressive gardens. I was a bit enamored with the lily pads. There were such a variety of styles and colors!